Oh, you wanted that Toasted?

This morning at work (as on many Fridays) Art over in SysAdmin brought in goodies – Einstein Bros. bagels and cream cheese. Now, I absolutely loves me some poppy seed bagels that have been toasted a little crunchy on the outside (toasted sesame seed is a nice second place choice). We have a decent, wide mouth toaster in the pantry, but it’s a bit slow.

So I grab a poppy bagel, slice, drop in the toaster, depress the lever, and head back to my desk. My office is like 10 steps from the pantry, and that toaster is slow. I figure I’ll spend the 2 or 3 minutes it’ll need looking up some info someone asked me for while I was grabbing the bagel.

A couple minutes go by, and I return. My bagel hasn’t popped up yet, so I peek down inside. It doesn’t look toasty, even a little. There’s no heat coming out of the toaster. I look down at the little toastyness-adjustment dial, and it’s set all the way to the left. On most toasters, this is minimum toastyness. But on our WonderToaster, all the way to the left is beyond minimum… it’s actually labeled “Off”.

This device is a TOASTER. You push the lever down when you want something toasted! The basic design hasn’t changed in like a hundred years. In what possible scenario did some white-lab-coat frocked Poindexter (or his pointy-haired boss) imagine I would place my bread-or-breadlike-product into the toaster, depress the big lever, thus lowering my bread-or-breadlike-product into the bowels of the machine, and yet NOT want it to get toasted?

This is a perfect example of over-engineering. Listen up people- a job is finished when you solve the problem. Once I can choose a level of toastyness and initiate toasting, your job is done. “Off” is not a level of toastyness. Its an un-feature. It makes your product less useful. Stop doing that.

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2 Responses to “Oh, you wanted that Toasted?”

  1. chornbe Says:

    Cool, you liked it. Wait until you see the “Off” button I put on the water cups.

    Speaking of on/off buttons, when did “1/0” become politically correct terminology for “On and Off”, anyway?

  2. Jason Says:

    On and Off<br/>

    Speaking of on/off buttons, when did “1/0” become politically correct terminology for “On and Off”, anyway?

    Probably around the same time that the words ‘Door Open’ and ‘Door Closed’ in elevators were replaced with Hieroglyphics.